Water Only Flows At Night
by terminal insanity
Summary: it's not REALLY angst, but well, i like putting things under angst... so sue me!!! (i'm kidding!!!) it's mikagami... what else can i say?


Disclaimer: Don't own Flame Of Recca. I never have, and never will. I am writing this for my own insane pleasure and am most definitely not making any money from it. Therefore, there is no justifiable reason to sue me. I do not accept flames, but I _do_ crave reviews.

**Water Only Flows At Night**

By terminal insanity

            _"When you look at me, what is it that you see?"_

            Good question. What _did_ he see? That had been a question he had, in an especially depressed mood earlier, asked Fuuko. Why he had asked her, of all people, he himself did not quite fully understand. She had hesitated to answer.

            _"Tell me the truth."_

The truth. Did he _really_ want to hear the truth? Actually, no.

            _"Please."_

It had taken her almost a minute before she had answered.

            _"I-I…Outside, I see a man with no love in his heart. Not because he can't feel love, but because he does not want to. But inside, I see a lost little boy crying out to be loved. That is what I see."_

A man with no love in his heart. Did he _really_ look like that? Icicle, fridge-boy, iceberg… He had been called those names before. Was _still_ being called those names. They were all to acknowledge the fact that he was an indifferent, heartless bastard with a demeanor icy enough to rival the North Pole. Ironic that he should be thinking of such things in the winter.

            He liked the distance that people kept from him. It left him alone to think. And as long as he kept himself busy thinking, he could ignore his heart. What heart? He didn't have one. At least that was what he had wanted those around him to think.

            But at night, while he was still asleep, still in a world where he wasn't Mikagami Tokiya the ice cube, but Mikagami Tokiya the boy that Mifuyu loved so much, he would stop thinking. His loneliness would kick in. And then he would cry. But once he awoke, there would be no more tears. None that would be allowed to fall. None that would betray his fragile heart. Nothing. And his heart would be dark, empty, void, once again.

            That darkness was deep, never-ending…and safe. The night was filled with darkness. And the night was safe.

Only at night, would his mind then shut down, would the tears then flow, would his heart then overflow with a sadness that came from the depths of a ten-year-old boy. But only at night, when there was no one to see him. No one to care. Where the hopeless cries of a boy would not matter. Only then…would he love…would he cry out for his lost sister, his lost father, mother, his lost loved ones… But nobody would hear him. And _they_ couldn't hear him…

"Onee-chan, if I pray hard every night, will okaa-san and otou-san come back? Will they hear me if I call out for them?"

The answer was no. They hadn't heard him then, and they never would.

"Onee-chan, promise me you'll never leave me. Not like okaa-san and otou-san."

Promises were made to be broken. No promise could be kept, especially not those made to a small little boy. She had promised never to leave his side, never let a night pass without her close by. She had promised. But she had left. She had died. And now he was all alone.

Promise me you'll love me forever, onee-chan."

Could it be that she had left him because she didn't love him anymore? Another promise broken. Two things he had learnt, ever since she left him: Promises were meant to be broken. And he would never be loved again.

The sun dipped behind the trees, the fiery light shining in a blazing halo around the skeletons of tree limbs. Night was coming. And when it did, it would claim him, as it had always done. Darkness was coming for him. And he was waiting, counting the minutes until he could cry.

Ironic, as he had feared the dark as a kid… Irony was his life.

Tick…tock…tick…tock…

He stared out the window, still waiting for night to come…

Tick…tock…

The flaming globe of light sank lower and lower. Only its glow lit up the approaching twilight-blue of the sky.

Tick…tock…tick…tock…

The glow faded slowly, finally giving in to the darkening evening bruise. Night had come.

He felt warm tears cascade down his cheeks. It started as a single teardrop. Then, a small, thin trickle. But as the twilight turned to midnight, it grew, torrents of salty tears blurring his vision. He continued staring out of his window.

It was night, and he could finally cry.

Slowly, he stood up and headed for his bedroom. Still clad in his jeans and sweatshirt, he climbed into bed, pulling the covers over his head.

Finally it was dark, and he could hide.

Eventually, he fell asleep, tears still falling from his closed eyes.

Finally, he could dream.

Hours passed. Sunlight poured in through the uncovered window, leaking through the thick blanket.

But night could not stay forever.

It was morning. Mikagami opened his eyes sleepily and yanked the blanket away from his face.

And the dark could not last forever.

He rubbed all traces of tears and sleep from his eyes.

He could not continue crying. Or dreaming.

He got dressed in fresh clothes and had breakfast. Then he grabbed his books and headed towards school. It was Monday morning.

He would have to wait for the night to do that.

Again.

Author's Notes:

Don't know why the hell I wrote this…Please tell me if it sucks. Either way, please R&R. Any and all flames will be used to set off fireworks.


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